More than 40 million American families care for an aging loved one, and memory loss and cognitive issues are among the most common health challenges.
Early intervention is critical to preserving memory and independence, but starting a conversation around cognitive concerns can be emotional and draining. Learn more about recognizing early signs of memory loss and some steps to approaching a loved one about their health.
Early signs of memory loss and cognitive health decline
Some memory loss is a normal part of aging, but dementia is not. Dementia can cause both memory loss and changes in behavior that interfere with daily functioning and independence.
If family members notice changes, it can help to start by learning more about the signs of dementia and observe whether memory loss or cognitive changes could be from medication side effects, depression, dehydration or another health condition. Symptoms of dementia include:
- Short-term memory loss
- Difficulty doing things that should be familiar
- Difficulty with vocabulary or keeping up with a conversation
- Frequently misplacing things
- Mood changes
- Problems with vision, spatial awareness and judging distance
- Trouble with problem-solving or planning things in advance
- Withdrawing from social life
Family members may want to discuss these changes amongst themselves to share observations.
The caretaker could also discuss their loved one’s symptoms and how to approach an older adult about memory loss with a geriatric physician who can provide guidance and support.
How to approach a loved one about memory loss
If family members believe it’s time for a conversation, they should identify who will start the initial conversation with the loved one with memory problems. It may be easier to have a one-on-one discussion rather than within a group. Patience, compassion and a calm demeanor are all key when engaging in the conversation.
Family members should also be aware that some medications can contribute to confusion or memory problems in older adults. Medications with strong anticholinergic effects — including diphenhydramine, the active ingredient in Benadryl — can increase confusion, drowsiness and cognitive impairment in older adults. Diphenhydramine is also commonly found in “PM” medications such as Tylenol PM and Advil PM, which some people may take without realizing they contain sleep aids.
Starting the conversation
Caregivers can start the conversation by being calm and compassionate and talking in a place where their loved one is comfortable. They can note changes they see and how they are concerned for their loved one’s health. The caregiver can share the perspective of wanting to make things better, not only finding health problems.
Focusing on the positive part of discussing possible health problems and plans can help. It could be helpful to suggest talking to a physician as early treatment can help prevent or ease more serious health problems. Having a goal of helping the loved one stay in their home or start medications that could help them maintain memory and cognitive function could ease the conversation.
Handling difficult emotions
Cognitive changes in older adults can be a difficult and sensitive topic some people may not want to face. Denial, anxiety and frustration are common reactions to discussions about memory loss. If the loved one becomes upset or agitated, it may be best to take a break from the conversation and note what triggered the emotion.
An example of a response is: “I love you very much, and I am worried about you. I see this is upsetting to you, and that makes sense. I’d probably feel that way, too. Why don’t we take a break today?”
Help with changes
While some medications may help, making lifestyle changes to support brain health can help slow the progress of memory loss or cognitive decline.
Caregivers can help their loved one with:
- Eating a nutritious diet, such as the MIND diet
- Exercising regularly
- Staying social
- Getting enough sleep
- Stopping or reducing alcohol consumption
A caregiver may also consider working with their loved one to create a long-term health plan.
A physician may offer further guidance about moving forward if there are serious memory or cognitive problems. The Alzheimer’s Association also offers resources — both online and locally — about living with and treating dementia.
Caregivers shouldn’t forget to take care of themselves. The Alzheimer’s Association offers a 24/7 help line for caregivers at 1-800-272-3900.
Namita Yende is a senior medical director and associate CMO with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan. For more health tips and information visit MIBlueDaily.com.
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