Imagine finally getting that promotion you’ve worked toward for years. You should be excited, right? But instead of celebrating, you find yourself wondering whether you’re actually ready. What if they made a mistake? What if you can’t live up to expectations?
For many women, especially those balancing growing careers, families, and everything else life throws their way, these thoughts can feel surprisingly familiar.
That feeling of questioning your abilities, even when you’ve clearly earned your success, is known as impostor syndrome. And sometimes, it shows up at the exact moments when we should feel most proud of ourselves.
Where the Feeling Comes From
Impostor syndrome isn’t a new concept. Nearly 50 years ago, psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes first explored the impostor phenomenon in high-achieving women. Their research looked at accomplished women, including doctors, professors, and executives, who struggled to recognize their own abilities despite having plenty of evidence of their success.
These women weren’t lacking experience or qualifications. They simply had a hard time believing they deserved the recognition they’d earned.
And they’re certainly not alone. A systematic review of the research found that up to 70% of people experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. It’s also associated with anxiety, burnout, and lower job satisfaction.
While impostor syndrome isn’t an official mental health diagnosis, it’s a very real pattern of thinking that can affect how we see ourselves, particularly during stressful periods or major life changes.
Why Promotions Are a Trigger
Your 30s can bring some pretty significant career milestones. Maybe you’re stepping into management for the first time, taking on bigger responsibilities, or finally landing a position you’ve spent years working toward.
These are exciting accomplishments, but they can also come with unexpected pressure.
Instead of feeling more confident after a promotion, some women find themselves questioning whether they can keep up with their new responsibilities. They work harder, prepare for every possible scenario, and put enormous pressure on themselves to avoid making mistakes.
And even when everything goes well? They might chalk it up to luck, good timing, or someone else’s help instead of recognizing their own hard work.
It’s an exhausting cycle. The more successful they become, the more they feel they have to prove themselves.
A new leadership position can make those feelings even stronger. Suddenly, there are more decisions to make, more people depending on you, and more opportunities to second-guess yourself.
But making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re unqualified. It means you’re human, something that’s easy to forget when you’re holding yourself to impossible standards.
The Particular Weight Women Carry
Although impostor syndrome can affect anyone, there are some unique pressures that women experience in their personal and professional lives.
Many women grow up learning to be modest about their accomplishments, avoid appearing overly confident, or give credit to everyone around them before acknowledging their own contributions.
Over time, those habits can influence the opportunities they pursue.
Maybe you’ve talked yourself out of applying for a position because you didn’t meet every qualification. Or you’ve had an idea during a meeting but stayed quiet because you weren’t completely sure it was the right one.
Meanwhile, someone with less experience might confidently speak up without a second thought.
When self-doubt becomes a regular part of your thinking, it can affect more than your confidence. It can influence career decisions, increase stress, and make it harder to enjoy accomplishments you’ve worked incredibly hard to achieve.
And when you’re already juggling work, family responsibilities, and a never-ending to-do list, adding the pressure to constantly prove yourself can quickly become overwhelming.
How Therapy Helps Quiet the Doubt
One of the challenges with impostor syndrome is that the thoughts behind it can feel like facts, even when the evidence says otherwise.
You might tell yourself that you only got promoted because you were lucky, or that one mistake will convince everyone you’re not qualified.
Therapy can help you recognize those thought patterns and start looking at them differently. BetterHelp connects users with licensed therapists who can help them work through self-doubt, recognize their strengths, and develop a healthier perspective on their accomplishments.
One approach therapists may use is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, which focuses on identifying unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more realistic ones.
For example, instead of automatically assuming your success happened by chance, you might begin keeping track of your contributions, positive feedback, and accomplishments. Having that evidence can make it easier to challenge the negative thoughts when they show up.
Therapy can also help with perfectionism and learning to give yourself some grace. You don’t have to handle every situation perfectly to be capable, successful, or deserving of your position.
For additional insight, BetterHelp’s guidance on overcoming self-doubt explores ways to recognize these patterns and build confidence over time.
Support That Fits a Demanding Career
Finding time to focus on your mental health isn’t always easy, especially when you’re balancing a demanding career with responsibilities at home.
Between meetings, school drop-offs, appointments, and everything else on the calendar, adding another commitment can feel like one more thing to manage.
That’s one reason flexible therapy options can be helpful.
The BetterHelp platform offers video, phone, live chat, and messaging options, allowing users to connect with a therapist in ways that fit their schedules. Asynchronous messaging also provides an opportunity to share thoughts or concerns between scheduled sessions.
BetterHelp’s network includes more than 30,000 licensed professionals, with matching options for people seeking support with workplace stress, confidence, self-esteem, and major career transitions.
If you’re considering online therapy, it can be helpful to look at how different platforms work before deciding what’s right for you. A Verywell Mind review of BetterHelp walks through the matching process and available session options, while Everyday Health discusses the platform’s licensed therapists. Innerbody’s assessment takes a closer look at therapist qualifications and vetting standards.
There’s also helpful information about BetterHelp’s approach to anxiety support, including how online therapy may support people navigating stress and anxiety in their everyday lives.
Owning the Role You Earned
Here’s something worth remembering: you didn’t get that promotion by accident.
Someone recognized your experience, your skills, and the work you’ve put in. And while it’s completely normal to feel nervous about taking on something new, those nerves don’t erase everything you’ve accomplished along the way.
You can be excited about a new opportunity and still feel unsure of yourself. You can make mistakes and still be great at your job. And you can acknowledge that you worked hard for something without feeling like you’re bragging.
Overcoming impostor syndrome doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll never question yourself again. It’s about learning to recognize when self-doubt is getting in the way and not allowing it to make decisions for you.
With the right support and a little practice, it becomes easier to give yourself credit, recognize your strengths, and feel more comfortable stepping into new opportunities.
Because that promotion, that accomplishment, or that next big career move? Momma, you deserve to enjoy it.
Impostor syndrome is a common experience rather than a formal mental health diagnosis. If self-doubt is affecting your daily life or emotional well-being, speaking with a qualified mental health professional may help. Anyone experiencing an immediate mental health crisis or thoughts of self-harm should seek urgent care or contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for 24/7 support. Additional resources are available through BetterHelp’s Get Help Now page.
Brittany is a proud mom to two fun loving kiddos, Grayson and Audrey. With a passion for health and fitness, she’s a certified personal trainer and nutritionist who enjoys helping others lead active, enjoyable lives. When she’s not coaching clients, you can find Brittany, her husband, and her kids exploring Michigan’s vibrant scene of indoor play centers, parks, eateries, and events. Whether they’re discovering new hiking trails, celebrating local restaurant openings, or spending the afternoon at the cider mill, they’re always on the lookout for their next adventure. Brittany is passionate about sharing her family’s experiences to help other parents create lasting memories in Metro Detroit. You can follow along with her and her crew here @brittmilesxo.