Many people dream of what their wedding will be like and oftentimes they can make those dreams come true when they get married. When people get married for a second time, however, they often feel a little lost. They may feel like the wedding needs to be smaller or that they can’t wear the traditional white wedding gown. With remarriages making up 40% of marriages in the United States, a lot of people experience these concerns.
Whether you’re remarrying after a divorce or after your spouse has passed away, it’s important to remember that your second wedding can be whatever you want it to be. All you have to do is figure out how to make it special for you and your spouse-to-be. Let’s take a look at a few tips to help you make it the perfect day for your new family.
Relax Certain Formalities
For your first wedding, you may have felt obligated to do things in a more traditional way. Whether that obligation arose from your family’s expectations or your personal beliefs, a second wedding presents the opportunity to let go of those obligations. You already did things traditionally once, so why not relax some formalities this time around?
This doesn’t have to mean rejecting everything that typically happens at a wedding. It simply means that you don’t have to let the traditions that tend to dictate weddings force you to plan it in a certain way. For instance, if you want to have a more relaxed reception venue, go for it. If you want entertainment that’s a bit sillier than a traditional wedding band, book it. If you want a day-time ceremony rather than an evening one, have it. Relaxing formalities like these allows you to incorporate more of your personality into your big day and make your second wedding truly unique from your first.
Make It As Grand (Or As Modest) As You Want
A lot of the discourse around second weddings is that they have to be small and intimate. This often comes from the idea that a large wedding can seem disrespectful to your former spouse. In truth, you can make your second wedding as big or as small as you want. If you want to celebrate your new marriage with a blow-out bash, then throw that party. You don’t have to feel bad about getting married for a second time. It is still a celebration of love and of families coming together, even if it isn’t the first time you’ve done it.
That said, if you and your spouse don’t want to go through all of the fuss that a big wedding requires, keep it small. Keeping it small can also help you save money, which is often important for second weddings as you and your future spouse may now have kids to support and your parents may not be paying for it like they did the first time around. Wedding flowers alone cost an average of $1,500, so no one will blame you if you do want to keep it small and intimate. Just be sure that you’re making this choice because it is truly what you and your partner want, rather than what you feel like you have to do.
Reinvent Traditional Family Roles
Your family may look a bit different than it did when you got married the first time. This makes a second wedding the perfect opportunity to use new and creative ways to incorporate your family into the celebration. If your dad already walked you down the aisle, you could have your mom or your kids go down the aisle with you this time. You could even walk it alone and then hold a family sand ceremony to represent your two families mixing together.
If you and/or your spouse have kids, you can include them in the ceremony in many different ways. Younger children make perfect flower girls and ring bearers. Older kids can be bridesmaids or groomsmen. You can even have your kids do a group reading during the ceremony to mark the special occasion.
Wear Whatever Speaks to You
Your second wedding should be all about doing whatever makes you happy and makes this celebration of love feel unique. A great way to achieve these ideals is to wear whatever piece of clothing speaks to you. You can wear a traditional white dress for the big day or you can go with a chic jumpsuit. You can choose a simple outfit or something that screams drama. Ultimately, you should choose something that makes you feel confident and beautiful.
You can also apply this rule to your accessories, hair, and makeup for the day. It’s up to you whether you want to drip in jewels or keep it simple with some earrings and a necklace. Just think about what will make you feel most attractive that day. You may want to schedule a teeth whitening appointment beforehand, as over 50% of adults over the age of 50 agree that your smile is the physical feature that stays the most attractive as you age. Be sure to make any dental, hair, or dermatological appointments well in advance so that you can feel your most confident on your wedding day. Remember that there is no way to go too big or too small, there is only what you want to do.
The key to making your second wedding feel special is to let go of any preconceived notions you may have about what it has to be. Plan a wedding that feels right for you, your partner, and your families. No matter how the day turns out, it’s sure to be a special celebration of your new union.